Saturday, February 04, 2006

PVR Cinemas ain't that impressive

whenever i used to pass through the Panjagutta X Roads, i would eagerly search for some kind of a board sign hung up somewhere over the Hyderabad Central Mall, announcing that PVR Cinemas are now open. the construction had been in progress for some time, and there weren't too many other multiplexes in the city(only one - Prasads) . one morning, when i read in the paper that it is finally open and playing three of the latest movies, i quickly searched if they are playing any of the watchable movies. there was Narnia, and that closed the deal for me.

God concurred with my wish to check out the multiplex that very day itself by cancelling my afternoon classes, which allowed me to run to the theater on a mere 20 min notice. recently opened theater meant tickets were available quite abundantly, but i suddenly felt a big hole forming in my pocket, with one ticket costing Rs.90. before someone who is not living in hyderabad starts frowning at me, let me add that the tickets here cost a maximum of Rs.35, only prasads charging more than that at Rs.60 per ticket(they have changed the rules: Rs.100 per ticket for the first two weeks of a movie release). i did not mind it though, hoping for a real return-of-value experience of watching the movie. but dampener straightaway: the theater being in a commercial complex, created a lot of problems for me to reach the fifth floor, after going round and round with no signs in sight, and with ill-placed moving stairs. 5 points deducted.

finally when i reached the correct place, i was welcomed by...a security personal? he checked me from top to bottom, before allowing me inside. i had to wait, as the cleaning work was in progress, which delayed the start of the show by 5 mins. i was already on a tight schedule - i had to get back in time for my evening classes. 5 more points deducted.

this was the moment i was waiting for...no worrying about the lost points...one breath-stopping visual from the blockbuster movie, with crystal clear sound effects, would make it all a part of the history. but wait...what is this? Nandi Awards? isn't the show already late to start? 5 more points deducted.

Finally. In the magical world of Narnia. One of my favourite fantasy series ever. the child actor immediately makes an impression, wins everyone's hearts. The girl, 'Lucy,' is the sole saving grace in the entire movie, apart from some innocent, rib tickling jokes. but we are digressing here...what about the visual quality, audio quality, and the ambience of the auditorium in general? everything was well below par. the visual quality, most important part of the movie watching experience according to many, was extremely disappointing. it was nowhere near the quality of Prasads. the screen height was longer than that of Prasads but the width was shorter. but importantly, the quality of projection was very poor. Prasads beats everyone hands down in this respect. sound was pathetic, as if i was watching a jarred, very old documentary that bore the brunt of more than a thousand prior screenings. the seats, though, were plush and comfortable. 20 more points deducted, 5 each for the above 3 points mentioned(if you are not getting your math right, 5 points have been secretly deducted for the outrageously priced menu, but let's that be a secret - i am not supposed to advertise my poverty here).

when i was just starting to suspect whether i have deducted too many points from PVR because of my own high expectations, i quickly discovered that i had been walking and walking and walking, but the exit path never seemed to be coming to an end. at last it did, but not before draining me out completely. there should have been a sign telling that atleast 5 gallons of fruit juice needs to be consumed before embarking on this seemingly never ending journey. do i need say more, 5 points deducted.

did i miss mentioning the cute end of the movie? the children come back to their uncle's home through the same wardrobe(through which they had left for Narnia), and exclaim to the professor that he wouldn't believe what they had been through if they tell him. the professor throws an object to them and challenges them: "Try Me!" And the credits roll.
5 more points deducted. (why? c'mon, after the terrible experience i have had, i don't need only legitimate reasons to deduct points from PVR Cinemas)

btw, did i remark that its website sucks big time too?!! try creating a new user on it and you will know what i am speaking about. in future, i might still visit this theater to watch an occasional movie - but only as a last resort.